3rd World Flicks

*AATANK - THE HINDU JAWS - NO ENGLISH - you know the plot, now see it done Mondo Macabro style baby!

BADI: THE TUKISH E.T. (198?) - No English - Okay, E.T. sucks, but they get it right this time by making the little fucker an even more cheapjack creation. And why is the Dad running around chasing kids with coal tongs in this soon to be classic? Buy it and find out! Freakin hilarious! (B+)

*CHINESE GODS AND IRON MEN (1981?) - Incredible Chinese animated film about the various struggles of Chinese gods and demons as they battle for the earth. Finally the gods call upon none other than BRUCE LEE (with a magical Third Eye!) to help them out. This is pure acid headed visuals that will sink a hole right through your cerebral cortex and gets our highest recommendation! (A-)

DARNA: THE FILIPINO WONDER WOMAN (198?) - NO ENGLISH - Incredible cheapjack, no budget Filipino rip off has the barely clothed super-chick wearing even less than her American counterpart! She is up against a thousand year old snake queen (with medusa hair), her puppet snake who lives in her purse and a bimbo with devil wings who flies around eating homeless people (you can tell this ain't American, cause no superheroes in the States would give a rats ass about the homeless!). Every once in a while there is some English dialogue. Incredible! (B)

*DARNA RETURNS - (NO ENGLISH) - The Filipino wonder woman is back in action, with a new lead actress, skimpier costume and huge boobs! She is still battling the medusa queen but this time she has brought along a army (of about five) snake men as soldiers. This sequel is even more insane than the wonderful original!
(B-)

*LIONMAN – TURKEY -Turkish action adventure mired in the legends of Mosses and every other story you can think of. An amateurish and fascinating film for the bad movie lover in us all. (B+)

LIONMAN 2: THE WITCH QUEEN – Yeah that turko hero is back and whipping more ass! Just as demented and fun as the original. (B+)

*LITTLE VAMPIRE TAINTS (199?) (XXX) - No English- So you think you've seen all this Mondo Macabro stuff? How about a Brazilian vampire porno movie about a Dracula MIDGET! If that ain't enough to get you to buy this, then nothing is!!!!! Gotta be 21 to order. (B)

THE MUTHERS – Shot in the Philippines trash about a boatload of female drug pirates and their wicked ways. Action packed and chocked full of sex and violence sure to please the cheese lover. (A)

*ROBO-VAMPIRE (1993)- Hopping, vampires, intercut with really low rent, aluminum foil and cardboard box style robot effects = hilarity in any language! Loads of shitting Kung Fu, bad effects and vampire from a different movie make this patchwork a laugh riot of ineptitude. (B+)

*TURKISH STAR WARS – NO ENGLISH – But you wont need it, you know the story, George Lucas ripped it off from LORD OF THE RINGS! But you’ve never seen it like this! With kung fu fights, big furry monsters that look like Sesame Street refugees, zero budget and actual clips stolen from the original film! This is the ultimate party movie! (B)

TURKISH WIZARD OF OZ - (NO ENGLISH) - Yet another whacked out Turkish version of an American Classic that is far more entertaining that the original. (B)

WARRIOR VS. THE BLIND SWORDSMAN - Barry Prima kicks gory ass in this Indonesian splatter filled action extravaganza (on a four dollar budget!) Great trash! (B+)